Wine and Wizardry.

So my social-reject-ness quite possibly stems from the fact that I spend every Monday evening drinking tea with the oddest group of people you will ever meet. I cant begin to explain it.

Tonight, I spent 2 hours crafting a magic wand from paper. I took a quiz to decide that my wand should contain the heart strings of a dragon. And got my head measured to fit my hat. No I am not part of some crazy cult, we are just devoting a weekend to Harry Potter. How fucking cool.

For some reason, this crazy group of fucktards know pretty much everything about my life. We exchange strange or drunken tales over rich teas and custard creams, and I realise how much worse I am than everyone else. It seems that no one does the kind of shit I do, or gets themselves into as weird situations . . intoxicated or not!!


With alcohol inside me, I am what many people would class a joke. I never used to be, in fact I used to be a surprisingly happy chappy. But this new year, I decided to cry for four hours, make pretty much the biggest tit of myself possible, and make all my weird situations that little bit weirder. I also seem to think it a good idea to kiss anyone I can, and occasionally show everyone my boobs. Basically, all my morals, and dignity go out the window. 


I don't understand it myself really. Why do something drunk, that sober, I would never even dream of doing? I honestly can't give an answer. Maybe, at the time, I like the fact that someone wants me, even if its for completely the wrong reasons. But why would I like that if sober I would have no interest at all? Sober I wouldn't even kiss someone I wasn't interested in, yet drunk the whole world gets to see my underwear.


Way to go Beth!! You are one classy bitch.


So this is why I attend fucktard club. To vent at a super odd group of girls who giggle at how I am just that little bit worse than them. And to keep me grounded. I might be a bit of a joke, but at least I can make a mean origami frog.


Morals and Dignity ♥ 


Well less of the dignity . . I'm going on a Harry Potter weekend for fuck sake.

Cards On The Table.

I'm really struggling to get into this blogging thing. I don't really know how to do it. I just have all these weird "brain farts" that no one else really should hear about. I even think I'm scared of it. I really don't want anyone to read it, well not anyone I know anywhoo! But fuck it. Life goes on . .

So it seems that a hell of a lot has changed recently; friends, college etc. I have never really been very good with friends. For the first 11 years of my life, I pretty much just had 2 friends. The next 5, I did whatever I had to do, and was whoever I needed to be to fit it. And now, I don't really know what I'm doing. I think I'm just coasting. There are lots of people who I class as my "friend", but I'm last on peoples list . . just a thought at the end "should we invite Beth?". Most of the time they don't bother. I'm a bit boring, and never really have anything to contribute. That's probably why I am so socially challenged. 

Basically I am a twat.

And it is because of this fact that I am failing at college. Without sounding like a big headed asshole, I have always been quite naturally clever. That is how I got through school, and GCSEs without doing any work or revision. Turns out you can't do that at A level. If you are lazy, you just fail, and I am lazy.

I am trying to keep my "brain farts" slightly under control. I'm doing my best not to lose it completely because half the stuff I really want to say, I know I really shouldn't. To anyone. Ever. My mind is a bit of a mess right now. It has been for bloody ages actually. I think its because I don't really live my life in the right order. I would put it down to experience, but I don't tend to learn from my mistakes . . 

Good effort Beth. But try harder.

"I'm just out to find the better part of me"