Life as we know it.

Everything has been so weird this week. Beyond weird. But an amazing weird. I have all this shit running after me, because of all these weird things I have done, and I have a feeling its all going to catch up with me soon.

So as of yesterday, I realised something, that I have kinda thought for a while, which I think explains alot about my life. Its something huge, and it makes me feel better about myself. I understand everything more, all the shit I have done makes sense. Kinda . .

But why does something so important have to be more of a big deal to other people than it is to me. Of everyone I know, there is only one person who not only gets it, but will keep it to themselves and just help me with everything until its easier. I don't think people expect this of me at all. They don't expect it, and I know they wont accept it because its just, different.

Its like everything is coming together and falling apart at the same time. But sometimes you just have to make a decision and stick to it. If that shit catches me up then I'm gonna do something crazy drastic I think. I'm in need of a really big change.

I should be doing coursework . .

The awkward moment when you thought you had loads to say . .

Haha, so today, has been a beaut of a wednesday, although very unproductive!! I got no work done, I just sat in the library distracting everyone else for an hour and a half. THEN I wondered down that beast of a hill with a packet of sour skittles and some lovely company, mooched to fathers, attempted some piano playing, failed miserably and embarrassingly at tennis, then RAN home, argued with the sis, had a shower, talked to a creepy man at the bus stop, got to town, had a meal with the girls from work, went to find somewhere to get a drink, failed, nat drove us home, singing along to lovely cheesy shit in the car.
Oh wow, I feel happy at the end of another averagely wonderful day :)

If you ever feel like you're nothing, you're fucking perfect to me . .

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

Love taught me to lie . .

Today was amazing in an incredibly average way. Just full of laughter and loveliness and I realised what a twat I am sometimes!! Yesterday I felt generally shit about life, and today all seems much more dandy, I mean when Cannonball comes on shuffle in the middle of a maths lesson, you know life isn't bad. There is always going to be crappy things, so I'ma gonna try and just focus on the good stuff.

So my weekend, I LOVE HOGWARTS!! I really don't want to bore you with the details, or make you jealous, but I was in Gryffindor, I played Quidditch, and I transfigured into a silly goose. Can't explain how super lame, but fucking amazing it was!

Eurgh, I'm sorry, I'm so boring. I really can't think of anything to say at all today! I have crazy shit going on. Yes. REALLY crazy shit, ha, but just not anything I think the world wide web should hear about. I need some kind of inspiration, ahaa, I might google it. I love google.

Its not hard to fall when you float like a cannonball ♥

Once, someone with blue hair gave me some advice . .

Beth is comitting social suicide this weekend. But it's AMAZING, becuase it's 3 days spent with some of my favourite people, on this Harry Potter weekend. Fuck yes. Litereally so excited. I don't give a shit how lame it is, I can't wait. Although if that fucking sorting hat waps me in a house with a couple of supertards, I will not be impressed.

But college work is going out the window, yet again. Which isn't very good seems as I got a C and a D in my exams. But fuck it, my coursework is almost done. Okay my lit coursework. Should probably start the lang at some point . .

So I had my hair dyed on wednesday. As I sat there in the salon, my best friend said to me "did you know you're my first ever client". Well, no I didn't actually, and that really doesn't fill me with confidence. So my chocolate brown hair with a purple fringe turned out to be purple hair with a red fringe. Fucking beautiful.

Wow, I have to sort my language out. I swear way too much. I laugh at really gross things. I'm pretty much a man with boobs. A gay man with boobs.

Knew there would be one day when I just erupt like a little volcano and all this crazt shit comes out. I'm sorry if you wasted a few minutes of your life reading this. My goodness, I'm so dull!!

Meh . . slowly but surely, fucking everything up and enjoying it.

It was bullshit ♥

Perfection.

You know, I just wrote this crazy long blog, and it was probably the single most lame thing I have ever written. And that is really REALLY saying something. So I used that beautiful button in the top right corner of my keyboard, and got rid of the bitch. SuperMegaCheese.

Basically I had a beautiful moment today, when I just thought FUCK YEAH, I know the most awesome people. I have these friends who are so amazing, I literally can't explain it. They make me smile at times when I feel like crying, just by like . . breathing! Ahaa.

They seemed to just crash into my life in the oddest way you could imagine. Really unconventional but in . . I don't know . . an interesting way? I kinda love it. All the weird shit just makes me love them even more.

I'm strange and you're strange, don't want you to change, no way . .

Homosexuals, Lemon-lovers and People who like free food ♥

Slag.

Beth,

You are a disgusting whorey slutbag. When did this happen? When did you stop becoming normal. Getting fucked over is no excuse. You are turning into a pretty shit person. You are slowly but surely fucking everything up, and its not cool. You will do way more damage to too many people than good. Are there any pros? Think about it. Sort it out please. And soon, because noone is going to do it for you (strictly speaking).

Yours sincerely,
Your Brain.

Beth is crying . .

It was so strange. I was casually sat on my bed, minding my own business, watching a bit of 90210 . . suddenly I'm crying, for absolutely no reason at all. Beth. You are a fucking weirdo.

I would say I have up and down days at the moment, but that isnt really true. Every day seems to be both up and down. Like a shit day, and a beautiful evening. Or a lovely day, and come home and cry like a twat. Nice. But thats cool, its life!!

Anyway. In general, life is good . . well interesting. Beth is getting herself into another couple of silly situations, but I'm beginning to think . . fuck it, you only live once. Maybe if I continue doing the wrong thing for a bit, the right thing will just jump out of nowhere, and slap me in the face. Hopefully knock some sense into me!! 

The wrong thing is so shit, yet so fucking brilliant all at once. I would just sort myself out, but I don't really want to. People make things so unclear, no definate lines or bounderies, so I feel a bit screwed sometimes. Damned if I do, and damned if I don't. I don't really have options. 

Okay I do. I just don't like them.

"It feels like more than distance between us . . "

Happy Thursday.

I am having an 'I would rather be anyone else but me' day. Everything just seems so fucking negative right now. In fact, I am actually struggling to think of one good thing. I have no social life. I hate my job. Exam results are out next week. And blah blah BLAAHHH.

I think I am just hating on life.

Who gives a fuck . .

Hello, I am nobody.

FML.

Sweet FA.

Today I feel I have achieved nothing. I woke up, looking like utter shit. I went to college for a very unproductive day when I did absolutely nothing of any importance. Then I had a driving lesson and did nothing new, and I feel like I'm never gonna get the hang of it. Then I came home, continued with the unproductiveness, then did a bit of theory practice, and failed all of that. 

I hate days when I feel like it would have been better to not even get out of bed. I haven't seen anyone, or talked to anyone. Wednesday afternoons used to be lovely, with little Costa gatherings with beautiful people, and I can't even remember the last time we all did that. Its like the longer we are at college, the more work we have, so we can't do the things we want to, but then I just sit at home doing fuck all anyway.

I would quite happily go back to school right now. I used to love it how we could just cruise through it all, and not stress out. In the evenings, we used to live at each others houses, but now I hardly ever see anyone. Even in the holidays, everyone has work and such, or just other things that they would much rather be doing . . 

I hate college. And I strongly dislike March 2nd 2011.
I wish I was four again.